Wednesday 24 October 2012

It's like high school sometimes

It's thought that when we age that we actually regress.  After 3 weeks everyday in a seniors care centre, well I believe that it's true, we do regress.
Sam (Santo) is an Italian gentleman on mom's ward.  On some days he will follow me around, the best he can, like a lost puppy.  He calls me 'piccolo' which means little one.  One these days he wants to sit by me and he's sings me Italian songs.  He will sit there and smile at me and speak Italian, which I do now agree is a very romantic language even though I don't know what he's saying but he's definitely flirting.  The other days he remembers that he's married and all he does is scream at me in Italian and demand that I put his bib on him and get his caffe.  I prefer the romantic singing.
On another day, I was helping with one of the wings afternoon tea and couldn't help with the music therapy.  We had a big snowfall that day and one of the volunteers called to say that she wouldn't be coming so Ashley, was one her own.  I couldn't help port the residents down but the tea would be finished before the end of music therapy and I said I'd be there to help her port them all back.  When I got there the doors opened and one of the participants just bolted past me, literally running with her walker. Shannon started talking to me about today's therapy with mom and I thought maybe that lady had to really go to the washroom and she seemed okay with her walker and obviously not blind so I didn't chase her down.  Ashley can and we lined up all the people in the walkers and mom and I brought up the then end.  Then Ashley did a head count and noticed that Margaret was gone.  She told me that she could handle getting them all back, including mom and told me to go to the lock down ward and tell a nurse that Margaret has gone wandering.  I was panicked when I realized she was from the lock down and I suggested that maybe I should go outside and look for her, it was cold, she had no coat and she couldn't have gotten far.  Ashley was very non-chalant and told me that Margaret does this all the time and she never leaves the building.
I rushed to the lock down ward and buzzed myself in (I know the code).  I ran to the nurses station and told them that Margaret had wandered off.  They didn't seem to worried either.  I watched the nurse go to the computer and type something and then she said "Yep, I knew it, she's in room 406 in assisted living".  I didn't realize it until then but the residents of the lock down have a little GPS sensor attached to their wrist bands and can be easily found within a 10 km area surrounding the facility.  Well isn't that nifty I thought.  She then asked me to go and get Margaret.  I apologized over and over as I felt so bad to not stopping her when she bolted.  The nurse responded "Don't worry, when she gets an opportunity, she bolts and she can always be found at room 406".
I went down to room 406 and there she was, sitting on the bed, next to a gentlemen named George.  In fact the workers call him 'Gorgeous George' and he has many female residents that are interested in him.  Honestly, for an 80 year old man, he is good looking.  He has silver hair and blue, blue eyes and resembles Paul Newman.  If I was 80, I'd be chasing him too.  Well Margaret did not want to leave and she pleaded for just 5 more minutes.  George, in a very charming manner, stood up, took her hand, gently helped her up from the bed and said "Now Margaret, go with the young lady, you don't want to get in any trouble and you can come back anytime" and he smiled.  Margaret reluctantly walked to the door and in a flirtatious voice "Okay George, I'll sneak away soon".  Then in the hallway she told me "I hate you".  Further down the hallway she said "And you better not get designs on him, he's mine".  I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing.  If she wasn't grey and wrinkled, I would have sworn I was talking to a 14 year old teen aged girl.
That same night at dinner, Gord was demanding again.  Gord has money.  His wife drives a Hummer and was in L.A (Los Angeles, not Lethbridge, Alberta) visiting their daughter.  Normally he eats in his room with his wife who like me is a trained VMA (volunteer meal assistant).  The patients in the end stage ward are not allowed to eat alone, they have to be monitored for choking and aspiration.  When his wife is away, he must sit in the dining area with the other end stage residents whom he feels he is better than and refused to sit with any of them.   The only person he will dine with is Alvin.  But Alvin doesn't like Gord, Alvin likes to sit with Sam (Santo).  Alvin enjoys sitting with Sam because Sam only speaks Italian and always nods in agreement with everything that Alvin says, and Alvin says a lot.   Alvin often lets Sam watch TV in his private room and it appears that they are friends.  Because Gord's dementia makes him prone to angry outbursts that have resulted in him throwing food,  the staff accommodate and give him his own table.  Of course this means that everyone else must be shuffled around.
Gord got his own table that meant Bob (Marjorie's husband) who comes and feeds her dinner every night would sit at our table with Evelyn and mom and me.  Weetska would be moved to Jean and Alma's table and Margaret would go and join her husband Leo (who is the lock down). Livey and Olga would move to the corner and so on and so on.  Everyone ate and I did a two handed double duty as the arrangement threw the service staff off and they had to find where everyone was that night so mom's and Evelyn's food came out at the same time instead of being staggered.
When dinner was over the staff started porting the residents back to the ward.  Jean called me over.  I went to her table and said "What can I get you Jean?".  She answered in a very stern voice "You can get this bitch out of here now and I don't ever want her at my table again".  She meant Weetska who is the gentlest soul in the ward and who doesn't speak, so I didn't see how it could be determined that she was bitch.  I told Jean that's not a nice thing to say and she responded "Shut up and move her".  Oddly enough, Jean never has much to say either but she sure spoke loud and clear that night.
Yep, high school confidential and it makes things very interesting.



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