The first resident I didn't really get to know as she passed only a few days after I got here. Eddie, who I knew years ago and got to know again, passed away two weeks ago and yesterday Marie. Like with Eddie it was just two days ago that I helped her with her bib and got her some juice and coffee. She seemed fine. That's the thing, I'm there every day and they all seem fine to me. I am forgetting the reality and the reality is that those on mom's wing, her neighbours, her dinner companions, her new friends and mom well they are all at the end stage of their dementia and at the end stage of their lives. Death can come very quickly and at any time.
When a resident passes their room is cleaned and all of their personal items are collected. The families come and thank the staff and say their good byes to the other residents that they too have come to know. Often the families will donate to the facility, the walker or the wheel chair or even the specialized bed. They are grateful for the staff and the centre for giving the best care they could in the last days of their loved ones life. They also know that the items they donate will be used by another resident.
I know the residents are aware when someone passes because I see them feel grief. Olga was very sad yesterday because Marie sat at her dinner table and the empty space across from her forced her to look at her own mortality. Some days Robbie still gets me to fetch a cup of coffee for Eddie and then he remembers that Eddie is gone and I see the sadness in his face.
Within in days the empty spaces are filled with a new resident. Sometimes a resident from another wing is moved to the end stage wing and sometimes the resident is new. I watch the families of the new residents because they are just like I was many, many weeks ago. The wing is a bit shocking at first. As I have mentioned there are over 200 different types of dementia. Alzheimer's is the most prevalent and roughly 67% of dementia patients have Alzheimer's. Dementia presents itself differently in each resident. Some can walk but not talk. Some can talk but not walk. Some grunt or make strange sounds, some rock back and forth or repeat the same sentence over and over and over. It can be a bit overwhelming at first. You can see it in the eyes of a new residents family member. They are thinking "Will this happen to my father, is this how it will progress?" It's a look of fear and a look of emotional pain.
In my time at mom's home I've noticed lots of changes and not just new residents. Some residents who were walking just weeks ago now need a walker or a wheel chair. Some residents who very alert and talkative are now quiet and often sleeping. Some residents who only weeks ago were eating on their own are now in need of prompting to eat and at times require to be fed. When someone asks mom how she is feeling so no longer answers that she is fine or good. Now her response is "I'm won't get better".
But perhaps the most disturbing observation that I have made is with the Broda chairs. A Broda chair is a specialized wheel chair that is padded and it reclines and has a safety belt and it is for the non mobile residents like my mom. What I'm noticing is the Broda chairs are like a Hertz only the body in them is still alive. The three residents that have passed away in the last while were all in Broda chairs, my mom is in a Broda chair. I don't think it's coincidence, I think it's a sign, the coming of the end.
There is no dying wing I know you want to share what you're going through I know it's a hard thing to go through but some of things are little exaggerated
ReplyDeleteHow is that an exaggeration? It's an observation. People in Broda's don't get out of Broda's and people in the end stage of dementia are not going to get better. They aren't where they are to recover. That is not exaggeration, that is reality.
Deletemy mom was placed in a broda chair recently ~ I know the end is coming.
ReplyDelete