An
elderly couple, each widowed, had been dating for a long time. Urged on by
their friends, they finally decided to get married.
Prior to the ceremony, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, etc. Finally, the old gentleman approached the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently', she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, 'Is that one word or two?'
Prior to the ceremony, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, etc. Finally, the old gentleman approached the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently', she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, 'Is that one word or two?'
Now that
I'm old here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny,
I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some
days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If
God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
I have been reading some of your blog which I just discovered today.
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful and I relate to so many things that you have written. My mother passed away on April 16, 2012. I spent time with her everyday for the last 1 1/2 years. There was meal time which as you have mentioned. And all the other necessities.
It was a very hard time but it was also wonderful in many ways.
I have some very special memories of this time with my Mom. We were always very close so we had that special bond before but being with her and suffering with her during her last times with made us even closer.
For some reason even though she forgot so many things and so many people she always remembered me.