Monday 3 June 2013
The Dementia Diary: I don't wanna grow up
The Dementia Diary: I don't wanna grow up: I recently read a story about the world's oldest man. He is 116 years old and he is the last person living in the world that was born i...
I don't wanna grow up
I recently read a story about the world's oldest man. He is 116 years old and he is the last person living in the world that was born in the 19th century. I honestly can't fathom all the changes this man has been witness too. Of course the obvious technological changes are many but this is a man who lived in the tail end of the Japanese feudal system who saw changes from a shogunate to an emperor and than to a western like parliamentary system. This is a man who lived through the many wars that Japan fought and remembers his country as an ally in WW 1 and as the enemy in WW 2. This is a man who worked in Korea when it was a colony of Japan. This is man who retired before I was even born, smoked when it was fashionable, still enjoys rice wine, and took up farming at the age of 90. He attributes his longevity not to healthy living but to eating small, sensible meals of fresh, seasonal foods. Go figure that. The secret to the longevity is eating real food in smaller portions.
When I was a child, I wanted to grow up and it wasn't about being 18 and leaving home. I enjoyed hanging around with the elderly and listening to their stories of the days long past. I loved how my grandfather was respected in my family and how other elderly people were respected in their families too. I can remember sitting on my grandfathers knee and staring at the wrinkles of time and hard work on his face. I would rub my hand across the weathered skin of his face and I would pull on the waddle of his chin. I would laugh when he took out his false teeth and laugh even harder when I pulled his finger so he could fart. He would say "When you're my age you can fart anywhere". I never looked at my grandfather as old or decrepit. I always saw him as an honourable man, who worked hard for his family and who did the best he could with what he had. I respected my grandfather and I still do. He wasn't a centurion when he passed away, in fact he was my mom's age now. Regardless, he had lived to see many changes in the world, his children grow, most of his grand-children grow and even few great-grandchildren come into this world. I was very saddened when he died and I still miss him. But I thought he had lived a long enough life and as his health was started to fail him, perhaps it was time.
In our modern world we live longer. We live longer for many reasons and of course medical advancements is the first and foremost reason. However, are some of these medical advancements really worth it. I can stop colouring my hair now and take a pill that stops grey hair. I can get botox or a face lift or a butt lift or a breast lift at any age I want. I can take a variety of remedies to stave off this disease or that disease and I can take a plethora of medications to prevent the advancement of any age related disease that I may develop. So, I could in fact live to be centurion myself. The question is, do I want too? Mr. Kimura in Japan is the last man in a world of 7 billion people to be born in the 19th century. 1 in 7 billion. That fact alone makes him a rarity and makes me think even further. Is the human body made to live that long? I don't think it is.
Everyday I see the elderly at mom's facility. Everyday I hear some sort of complaint of a sore this or a sore that. Everyday someone will say I wish I could still see or I wish I could still dance or I wish my wife was still here. Everyday I watch those elderly who can no longer talk, or walk. I watch as they stare and then suddenly, for no reason they smile. I wonder if they are remembering a happier time in their life or is it simply their befuddled mind. Sometimes I hear them moan for no reason and I wonder if they are in pain and do they feel pain or is it just an involuntary reaction or the only sound they are able to make. I wonder is this the life they envisioned. I wonder if they had a choice, what choice would they make. I wonder if they are happy or if they are just waiting. I wonder a lot. I wonder about my own old age and I envision how I want it to be. Sadly, chances are, it will be nothing close to what I envision.
More and more our world is changing and even now, in my 40's I complain about some of the changes. The one change that I find most disturbing though is the treatment of our elderly. For centuries the elderly were kings and chiefs. They were respected on honoured. Our world is no longer like that. Elderly are blamed for the misfortunes of today's world and for the historical choices they made. The elderly are criticised for everything from the way they drive to costing the systems millions of dollars. Then they are herded away into facilities so they are unseen and then forgotten about. I doubt that this how they envisioned their golden years because really, what's golden about that?
Mr. Kimura is cared for by the 89 year old widow of his eldest son. He has out lived two wives, two children and even some of his grand-children as well as his siblings and all of his close friends. At 116 he spends most of his days in bed. As he is the oldest living person in the world he has been interviewed many times. I read over twenty different interviews from news agencies around the globe and not one of them, not one has ever asked him this simple question, "Are you happy Mr. Kimura?". Perhaps they don't ask because they know the answer or they fear the answer. I don't know the answer either but I know what my answer would be and as it stands now, I don't wanna grow up.
When I was a child, I wanted to grow up and it wasn't about being 18 and leaving home. I enjoyed hanging around with the elderly and listening to their stories of the days long past. I loved how my grandfather was respected in my family and how other elderly people were respected in their families too. I can remember sitting on my grandfathers knee and staring at the wrinkles of time and hard work on his face. I would rub my hand across the weathered skin of his face and I would pull on the waddle of his chin. I would laugh when he took out his false teeth and laugh even harder when I pulled his finger so he could fart. He would say "When you're my age you can fart anywhere". I never looked at my grandfather as old or decrepit. I always saw him as an honourable man, who worked hard for his family and who did the best he could with what he had. I respected my grandfather and I still do. He wasn't a centurion when he passed away, in fact he was my mom's age now. Regardless, he had lived to see many changes in the world, his children grow, most of his grand-children grow and even few great-grandchildren come into this world. I was very saddened when he died and I still miss him. But I thought he had lived a long enough life and as his health was started to fail him, perhaps it was time.
In our modern world we live longer. We live longer for many reasons and of course medical advancements is the first and foremost reason. However, are some of these medical advancements really worth it. I can stop colouring my hair now and take a pill that stops grey hair. I can get botox or a face lift or a butt lift or a breast lift at any age I want. I can take a variety of remedies to stave off this disease or that disease and I can take a plethora of medications to prevent the advancement of any age related disease that I may develop. So, I could in fact live to be centurion myself. The question is, do I want too? Mr. Kimura in Japan is the last man in a world of 7 billion people to be born in the 19th century. 1 in 7 billion. That fact alone makes him a rarity and makes me think even further. Is the human body made to live that long? I don't think it is.
Everyday I see the elderly at mom's facility. Everyday I hear some sort of complaint of a sore this or a sore that. Everyday someone will say I wish I could still see or I wish I could still dance or I wish my wife was still here. Everyday I watch those elderly who can no longer talk, or walk. I watch as they stare and then suddenly, for no reason they smile. I wonder if they are remembering a happier time in their life or is it simply their befuddled mind. Sometimes I hear them moan for no reason and I wonder if they are in pain and do they feel pain or is it just an involuntary reaction or the only sound they are able to make. I wonder is this the life they envisioned. I wonder if they had a choice, what choice would they make. I wonder if they are happy or if they are just waiting. I wonder a lot. I wonder about my own old age and I envision how I want it to be. Sadly, chances are, it will be nothing close to what I envision.
More and more our world is changing and even now, in my 40's I complain about some of the changes. The one change that I find most disturbing though is the treatment of our elderly. For centuries the elderly were kings and chiefs. They were respected on honoured. Our world is no longer like that. Elderly are blamed for the misfortunes of today's world and for the historical choices they made. The elderly are criticised for everything from the way they drive to costing the systems millions of dollars. Then they are herded away into facilities so they are unseen and then forgotten about. I doubt that this how they envisioned their golden years because really, what's golden about that?
Mr. Kimura is cared for by the 89 year old widow of his eldest son. He has out lived two wives, two children and even some of his grand-children as well as his siblings and all of his close friends. At 116 he spends most of his days in bed. As he is the oldest living person in the world he has been interviewed many times. I read over twenty different interviews from news agencies around the globe and not one of them, not one has ever asked him this simple question, "Are you happy Mr. Kimura?". Perhaps they don't ask because they know the answer or they fear the answer. I don't know the answer either but I know what my answer would be and as it stands now, I don't wanna grow up.
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