Thursday, 23 May 2013
The Dementia Diary: An Onion Sandwich
The Dementia Diary: An Onion Sandwich: I haven't been writing a lot on the blog lately because it has been a very difficult 3 weeks. There have been a couple deaths on my mom...
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NOTICE TO ALL WHO READ THIS BLOG: This representation of an authors work is completely subjective. This means that whatever is revealed in this document as "truth" can be reasonably argued to be "non-truth" based on which perspective you come from.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, the representations of this blog are symbolic of the manipulative nature of a family member to construct a embrace of sympathy to alleviate the pain felt by the author. This simply means that the author is purposely "trash talking" family members to gain support in the reclaiming of dignity. This further means that the writer of this blog has no where else to run, other than online websites where she knows her elders wont be able to access, therefore giving her free reign over the emotions the readers feel.
I remind all readers of this document to please remain vigilant when trying to find truth within this situation. The subjective law of writing does not allow for any other rational explanation for the hurt and pain which this blog causes for my family (the family the author is connected to). For this reason, I ask the author to re-think her methods of persuasion. Creating sympathy for your situation WIL NOT CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF YOUR ACTIONS.
To the writer of this blog: your relentless undermining of your own family has created a void which will never filled. Your family is not responsible for your failures in life. Therefore, the only purpose you have in life is manipulating your own family members so they can keep supporting whatever hope they still hold for you. The pain and suffering you have created within the family has literally stretched the rest of us to the same dark place you live. If this is truly a dementia diary, then please reserve its speaking toward helping the people who it is meant for. This is not a blog which represents the integrity of any person with dementia. You are lost, confused, and disturbed to think that ANY OF YOUR WORDS REPRESENT THE ENTIRETY FAMILY`S OPINION ON THIS MATTER. Your are so twisted that you have successfully enjoyed in destroying people`s life because you can`t deal with your own problems. Might as well take everyone down with you as well right.............
Considering that everyone else in the family has read the blog and has no issues with it, nor do they view it as trash talking or trying to create sympathy or that I am destroying anyone's lives or that I am trying to manipulate them or that I have created any pain and suffering in the family nor that I am trying to represent the entirety of the family's opinions and nor that I am twisted. No one's going down because this blog doesn't take anyone down, rather the readers find the honesty and truth uplifting. 11,000 other readers can't be wrong, so perhaps you need to look at yourself before you start to criticize others. Hurting people hurt other people and I'm in a good place spiritually, mentally and physically, so FUCK OFF, Namaste.
DeleteLeissa,
ReplyDeleteI have up until this point kept my opinions to myself. But I find it disgusting that you have the audacity to even comment on my father’s household and parenting. Further more have a blog about my grandmother...whom, has by PROFESSIONALS, not been diagnosed with dementia?? You are a sick woman and want to say my father is full of anger and resentment? So what does that make you full of? You blame your drinking on your family life and upbringing? That sounds a lot like resentment and anger to me. I find my dad’s mental health impeccable, considering the amount of dysfunction he has lived through from childhood. Clearly he has coped in a much healthier fashion than yourself. I.e. drinking yourself stupid and falling down staircases,( being one of your finest moments I must say...). Most people in my father’s situation would have rid themselves of this stress long ago, which goes to show how strong and loyal he is to his “family”. If it weren’t for people like my dad and your father constantly there to clean up your mess, you would be drunk and homeless living on the street; blaming everyone else for your life’s failures. I don’t think you should see the white’s of your son’s eyes. You have in a very short period of time, single handedly, managed to damage your son to such a degree that he will have to live the rest of his life with the scars your “mothering” has left. You should be thanking authorities for even considering letting you have any kind of custody of your son.
My father has been the best role model in my life and my mother has been the best friend in my life. Can you say that for your children? Perhaps in your delusional state, but in reality, no. My parents are caring, compassionate, and generous people, and it is sad that my father’s family does not appear to appreciate everything he has done to keep his family in any kind of unity. Frankly, they don’t deserve to have the experience that these two bring to a family. If you step back and look at the accomplishments my father has attained through himself, wife, and children, I think it is easy to see the stability in our family. People are a product of their environment, and it is safe to say that my brother and I are very lucky to have grown up under the guidance, love and stability my parents have provided, and graduating with a degree in nursing at 22, is confirmation of that.
Now it is likely you will try to write back with your narcissistic antics, but the only purpose that will serve is making yourself feel better. So if you feel compelled to do anything with this “Dementia Blog” perhaps I can suggest reflecting on the fact that you have managed to ruin your own family, and drive your mother literally to a demented state; but will not be successful at ruining another. Do everyone involved a favor and stop dragging this stupid blog and custody battle out. You have proven time and time again that you are incapable of caring for not only yourself, but your son as well. Continuing to draw this out, does nothing but make your situation worse with all the stunts you pull.
Oh, and by the way “Namaste”
No where in the blog do name the person I was writing about.
DeleteNo where in the blog do comment on their parenting.
But, if the shoe fits so to speak so I admire your commitment to that small corner of the family.
But, you might want to get a few of your facts straight before you comment. In March of last year my mom was admitted to the Canmore hospital where an intense assessment and evaluation was done by 3 doctors. At the end of the assessment they concluded that mom has dementia. Based on that assessment and conclusion the paper work was done to find suitable care for mom. First she was in a facility in Calgary and weeks later she was moved to her present facility.
In October I asked her NP what medications she was on and why because I was particularly concerned with the amount of psychotropic drugs that mom was still being given. The NP, myself, my dad and her team of care-givers, including the pharmacist all decided that there was no need for some of these medications and the weaning process began. In 6 weeks we all started to notice an improvement in mom, beginning with the use of her hands. As she was weaned off more and more of the drugs, more and more improvements were seen. Thankfully the improvements continued and mom has some semblence of a life back.
Recently her psychiatrist(who I might add was responsible for putting mom on so many medications to begin with) and the NP decided that perhaps over-medication was the cause of the dementia symptoms. They agreed that should her physical, mental and cognative symptoms continue to improve that another course of action MAYBE required. However, given that there are over 200 types and sub-types of dementia and that dementia presents itself differently in everyone, they can't really be sure what my mom has. Unfortunately, with any type of brain function disorder, nothing is conclusive until the person has passed away and the brain tissue is examined. At this time, it has been decided that the best place for my mom to be is in an extended care facility. Over the next few months that could change but it also might not ever change. That is the reality.
I find it interesting that of all the blogs posts, this is the only one you feel compelled to comment on. You didn't/don't comment on the many posts about the wonderful times I had with my mom. You don't comment on the informative posts about the history of dementia or the symptoms of dementia. You don't comment on the posts about the cuts to extended care and how that affects thousands of seniors in this province and in this country. No, you only comment on a post that you think is about your family.
The purpose of the blog is to bring awareness to dementia and the plight of our elderly in this country and others. Unfortunately, we herd our elderly away like cattle out to pasture so the uncomfortable realities of aging and dementia are not seen or dealt with. It was a wake up call for me to see firsthand what dementia is and how it is dealt with.
This blog is very cathartic for me. It was hard to see my mom near death. It was hard to feed her for months and months. It was hard to watch as care givers changed her diaper. It was hard hard to see her unaware of who she was with or even who she was. I wrote about those times because people need to know that dementia is not about simply forgetting where the keys are.
Remember two things. There are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth. Also there are two ways to be fooled, one is to believe what isn't true and the other is to refuse to accept what is true. You're young yet. Life and the future will teach these things.
Finally, I don't blame anyone for my failures because I haven't failed. I've made some wrong decisions, yes but I have learned from those mistakes and I continue to learn. But I do ask you to do one thing. Don't talk about my son's situation because there are laws against that and the constitution of Canada doesn't apply to them.