A happy day at the home

The great thing about mom's new home is that regardless of residents health, they always recognize birthdays and anniversaries, even those of the caregivers and spouses.  So on this day a spouse of one of the residents turned 80.  If I look half as good as she does at 80, I'll be well pleased.  She keeps her hair in a current style and wears the trendiest clothes and never dresses like well, like an old woman.
Her husband developed Parkinson's years ago.  Parkinson's is also classified as a dementia.   For many years the Parkinson's was controlled by the regular medications but they stopped working.  They made the decision to move back to Alberta to be closer to their children.  Eventually the dementia started to set in and he was gradually going blind.  His wife noted that as the dementia got worse, the tremors of the Parkinson's got better.  She eventually made the decision to put him in extended care.  By then the tremors had stopped and he was incontinent and unable to get around, not only because he was now completely blind but also because of the dementia.  It just amazes me how it effects every single dementia patient I've met, totally differently. 
For the past 6 years his wife comes everyday and she has dinner with her husband every night.  She has watched him steadily slip away.  He does not speak at all, not even a grunt.  He does not move at all.  He has no expression, no emotion, nothing.  He does chew and swallow though and has only had one bout of pneumonia which didn't even require hospitalization.  She has been a great support to me and she gives great hugs.  She's told me about a caregiver support group that meets the last Thursday of every month.  I've never been one to rely upon others but I'm going to this time and will be at the meeting on Thursday.
Another milestone celebrated on this day was the 63rd wedding anniversary of Tony and Roseanna.  Roseanna is the youngest of 8 children and her father was the third Premiere of this great province of Alberta.  She is in her late 80's and has been in extended care for 3 years now.  She is one of the residents who requires tube feeding and Tony is there everyday by her side.  Theirs is a love story that we see in movies.
Roseanna was a nurse and during WW2 she volunteered to go overseas to Europe to help the troops.  Tony was an officer in the British army.  A bomb or grenade or something went off near him and he was injured and blinded.  Roseanna was his nurse and for a months he didn't know what she looked like but he was already falling in love with her.  Then his eyesight improved and he could see blurred images and it got clearer and clearer and with lens he could see again and when he saw her, he was even more smitten.  After the war they kept in touch and in 1948 he moved to Calgary to be near Roseanna.  They courted and married in 1949.   He became an engineer and Roseanna continued to nurse.  They raised 3 boys, one passed away just a few years ago of cancer and the other two visit as often as they can.  Tony told me that he hopes for many more years together.  She is his best friend and he will never leave her side, and he doesn't except to go to the bathroom or get a tea.  She nursed him and now he nurses her.
Mom cried today.  It could be real emotion or what's left of it, or it could be the dementia as many lose the ability to control emotion and have crying fits or angry outbursts or scream, etc, etc.  I asked her why she was crying.  Mom said "It hurts".  I asked her what hurts, is she in pain.  She could be in pain as dementia can cause neuropathy where patients actually feel pain when they are touched.  She didn't say, all she said was "It hurts" again and she kept crying.  I don't think she's in pain.  I think she's sad because she knows what happening to her and it must be horrible for her.  All I can do is try to make her time more bearable and that's what I'll keep doing.