Saturday 13 October 2012

Dylan comes to town

My daughter was born at 6:42 am on August 9th.  No lie, my mother was there by 7:00 am.  I was going to be induced the next day but Dylan came on her own.  Knowing that a grandchild was arriving, mom made my dad book a hotel room near the hospital so that on a moments notice, she could be there, and she was and I swear she must have slept in her clothes. 
Mom has always had a special bond with my kids.  She has two other grandchildren but mom always said  it's different when your daughter has children.  So, needless to say, my kids have always been spoiled that much more, especially Dylan, and that has caused some words to be said between my brother David and I over the years.  Dylan is close to grandma too.  When Dylan and I were going through the 'normal' teenage girl angst/stupid phase, my mom was always there for her.  This Dementia has hit Dylan maybe the hardest.
We picked Dylan up at the airport and all she wanted to do was go and see grandma.  I didn't want Dylan to have the shock that I had so I tried to prep her for what she was going to see.  Really that was a waste of time because you can try to describe how a person is to another person all you want but they have to see for themselves what the situation really is.  Besides, Dylan in her typical fashion said "I know mom, I know".  Well, she didn't know.
Mom was in the Bingo room when we got there so dad went to collect her and Dylan and I sat by the fish tank.  Dad came around the corner with mom and I watched the shock in Dylan's face.  Mom's eyes got so big, she knew immediately who was standing in front her and she raised her hand and grabbed Dylan's arm.  Dylan bent down and tried to hug mom and she cried and she kept crying for another 20 minutes.
We spent the afternoon with mom.  Dylan would talk to her and reminisce about trips mom had taken her on and about life in Canmore and such, it was sweet.  Dylan was trying to get some sort of emotion or response from mom, but she got nothing.  Eventually Dylan broke down again and cradled herself in her grandma's arm and cried "Come back to me grandma, come back".  That was the moment, a moment that I guess all of us have had, that Dylan realized that grandma's gone and all that is left is a shell of woman who once was.
The next day we returned to spend the whole morning with mom as this was just a quick stop over for Dylan, she's off to Mexico and South America for a few months.  Dylan brought her Banjo.  My daughter is a very talented musician, she plays all acoustic instruments and the Clarinet.  Dylan thought that music soothes the soul and that grandma's soul needed soothing.
So Dylan starts playing.  Mom can't take her eyes off of Dylan.  The acoustics in the dining area are really good and her music resonated throughout the facility.  You could hear her in every hall way and in every corner of that facility.  Within minutes a very elderly gentlemen in a walker made his way to the dining room.  I helped him into a chair and he told me he just come to hear the girl play.  I smiled.  Then another gentlemen came and then a staff member wheeled a lady down and then another and another and before you knew it, Dylan was throwing a concert.  There was even a lady sitting by the fish tank keeping with the beat.
Eventually, like any performer Dylan had to take a break.  A staff member came over to compliment her and tell her that she can come back anytime to play because everyone has enjoyed it so much.  Dylan blushed and at that moment mom pipes up "My grand-daughter".  Of course we're in tears again but it proved that mom can still pick her moments of pride.
At lunch, Dylan helped me feed her grandmother.  Like any facility they are under staffed so Dylan fed her grandma and I help Evelyn.  Where mom has to be fed completely, Evelyn just needs help getting her own arm to her own mouth, so I helped Evelyn and then a staff member could help someone else.  It was so communal, all of us working together.
Unfortunately Dylan couldn't stay any longer.  She had some things to pick up for her trip and then we had to take her to the airport, so the time came for good-byes.  Dylan hugged her grandmother as best she could and she told her how much she loved her.  Mom said "I love you too".  Then mom motioned for Dylan to hold her hand and Dylan did.  Mom squeezed and squeezed and she was NOT letting go.  One of the nurses had to literally pry mom's hand off of Dylan's.  A part of me thinks that mom didn't want to let go because maybe she's knows that she isn't going to see Dylan again.  Another part hopes and prays that when Dylan gets back she can go and play for grandma again.  Hopes and prayers seem to be all we have now.




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